#or get to see the Smithsonian or the Winchester mystery house | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

psychoticwillgraham · 6 months ago

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in relation to the home post i just rb’ed, i truly dont think I’ll ever find a place that’ll feel like home to me. the closest i’ve gotten is gay clubs bc of being on stage doing drag, but I’m talking like. somewhere I’ll live in. i rlly don’t belong in society and I’ll never find my place in the world. i’m doomed to stay in this shitty house with my abusive cunt of a mother and i’ll be trapped in this shithole town and shithole state until I die. i really don’t want to die in this town. but i feel like i cant leave now bc grandma (the only person who ever accepted me and defended me from mom and sis and believed in me) is buried here and i told her i wouldn’t leave her behind. but i just can’t stay here

#it truly does feel like there’s no way out for me and no path forward #to the life i want to live #i have one fucking life and it’s been a shit one #and i desperately want to try and live the rest of it on my own terms #but it’s just. Not gonna happen #I’ll never get to travel or go to every national park #or get to see the Smithsonian or the Winchester mystery house #or the museum of death #and I won’t get to fulfill my true potential in my drag career #I’m going to die a nobody and die a broken sad thing #sorry I’m just Feeling things rn #and I feel like there’s SO much pressure on me to do everything perfectly #and take care of mom perfectly #I feel like atlas with the world on my shoulders #I just want to Live not survive

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